The Power of Resilience and Awe in Navigating Life During a Loved One’s Captivity with Dr. Jeff Thompson
Resilience is a term often used in conversations around mental strength, adversity, and recovery; however, its true essence goes far beyond merely surviving tough moments. Drawing from psychology, personal growth, and research, including work with organizations like NASA, Dr. Jeff Thompson looks at a nuanced understanding of resilience, and introduces us to the power of awe as a gateway to healing and to creating a roadmap for families enduring extreme hardship, such as those awaiting the return of a wrongfully detained loved one.
Redefining Resilience: A Three-Part Perspective
Most people understand resilience as the ability to “bounce back” after hardship—an emotional elasticity that allows individuals to weather life’s storms. This is indeed one part of it, but it’s only the beginning.
The first element of resilience is recovery—bouncing back from stress, grief, or trauma. This is crucial, yet focusing solely on this aspect implies life is a series of battles. While struggle is part of the human condition, there’s more to resilience than preparing for or enduring pain.
The second element is reaching out—recognizing that strength also lies in connection. True resilience includes the courage to seek support, whether from professionals, friends, or family. It’s not about being superhuman or stoic; it’s about acknowledging our humanity and knowing when we need help.
The third component is building upward spirals—making space for joy, gratitude, and positive growth. Resilience is not just about avoiding the downward spiral, but also about actively cultivating the experiences that help us thrive. This means cherishing moments of beauty, purpose, and meaning.
Practices That Strengthen Resilience
Resilience is not static. It can be developed through practices that suit our evolving circumstances. These include:
- Cognitive reappraisal: By reframing negative experiences to acknowledge the action that was taken or highlight the strength that was demonstrated during adversity, helps to promote agency. In other words, have families fully embrace the belief that they are actively doing their best while going through this uncontrollable situation.
- Self-efficacy and self-compassion: It’s necessary to fully believe in our abilities to manage difficulties, while also offering ourselves kindness and understanding when we fall short. By doing this, we can build resilience, which is as much about gentleness as it is about grit.
- Social connectedness: It’s important to surround oneself with people who offer support, comfort, and a sense of normalcy. Connections with friends and family members who offer this type of support can be therapeutic in its simplicity, whether that is sharing a meal or having a lighthearted conversation.
- Gratitude: When living through the hardest times, it’s helpful if you can find appreciation in small things, like a good meal or a warm conversation. By embracing roles or responsibilities that provide purpose outside of the hardship currently being faced, we can reset our minds so that we’re rested and prepared for the next battle.
These practices do not minimize the pain one may be experiencing; rather, they provide a counterbalance, a way to anchor in the good when everything else feels unstable.
The Role of Awe in Healing
Among the lesser-known but profoundly powerful resilience practices is the experience of awe. Defined as a complex positive emotion triggered by something extraordinary, awe can come from monumental events or from everyday moments—like the first sip of coffee in the morning or gazing at the night sky.
Awe is not about ignoring reality. It’s about shifting perspective and cultivating presence. It helps ground us, even in times of uncertainty, by reminding us of the bigger picture and our place within it.
Research shows that awe can:
- Serve as a gateway to other resilience practices, making individuals more open to gratitude, humility, and hope.
- Promote realistic optimism, which is particularly crucial for families of wrongful detainees, who live with a daily blend of hope and heartbreak.
- Help regulate emotional responses to ambiguity and uncertainty, offering strength in situations where control is limited.
Narratives, Awe, and Recovery
Storytelling is a powerful tool in trauma recovery. Encouraging individuals to reflect on and share narratives of awe, whether from before, during, or after traumatic events, helps integrate their experiences into a broader life story.
This process:
- Validates that their traumatic chapter is just one part of their journey.
- Helps cultivate a more comprehensive self-identity, not defined solely by hardship.
- Provides moments of reflection that can shift emotional states from despair to gratitude and agency.
For example, former hostages may recall moments of beauty or gratitude even in captivity, like savoring a rare meal or pretending their food was a gourmet feast. These seemingly small stories are acts of resilience and imagination, reminding them of their strength.
Conclusion
Resilience, when fully understood, is not just about surviving, it’s about recovering, connecting, and thriving. It’s a dynamic interplay between hardship and hope, effort and acceptance, solitude and support.
Awe is a surprisingly potent ally in this journey. It helps us zoom out, breathe in, and ground ourselves in the wonder of being human, even amid difficulty. When intentionally practiced, awe can spark a cascade of resilience practices that support emotional recovery and long-term well-being.
Whether you’re awaiting news of a loved one or facing the complexities of daily life after returning home from captivity, resilience isn’t just about bouncing back. It’s about growing stronger, deeper, and more connected in the process.
Dr. Jeff Thompson is a volunteer with Hostage US, helping lead and organize some of our Master Class training sessions. His research is affiliated with the School of Health and Social Care at Edinburgh Napier University and also the College of Leadership and Public Service at Lipscomb University. You can read more on his research at https://www.5daysofawe.com/aweresearch and his articles at https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/beyond-words
