A Guideline for Families

Discovering that a loved one has been kidnapped or wrongfully detained abroad is one of the most devastating experiences a family can face. The shock, fear, and confusion that follow can be overwhelming—and the road ahead is often long, uncertain, and emotionally draining.

This checklist was created to help you take practical steps during those critical early days and beyond. It offers a framework to help you stay organized, informed, and supported as you navigate complex systems, advocate for your loved one, and care for yourself and your family.

Each of the seven steps outlined here reflects the lived experiences of families who have walked this path before you, as well as the insights of professionals who support them. Whether you’re just beginning this journey or are looking for ways to strengthen your approach, we hope this checklist empowers you to take action with clarity and confidence—and reminds you that you are not alone.

1. Get Help

When a loved one is travelling abroad and you believe that something terrible has happened, such as a kidnapping or arrest, you will need to alert relevant authorities who can assist. Listed below are 3 agencies you should reach out to immediately:

American Embassy

• Search online for [Name of Country] + “US Embassy” + “Emergency Contact.” If there is no American Embassy located in the country, an online search will direct you to the Protecting Power, such is the case for Iran.

U.S. Department of State – Overseas Citizen Services

• From the U.S. or Canada: 1-888-407-4747
• From overseas: +1 202-501-4444
• They can connect you with the nearest U.S. embassy or consulate.

FBI Field Office

If you’re in the United States, contact your local FBI field office. You can find it by searching: “[Your City, State] + FBI Field Office Contact”.

2. Organize Yourself and Your Support Team

Once you’ve contacted the appropriate authorities, we recommend forming a trusted team of family members and/or close friends who can take on specific responsibilities. Having a clear structure will help you manage the situation more effectively and avoid burnout.

Below are a few key roles you may wish to assign within your team. Please note that these are just suggestions, and that you may not need, or want, to fill all of these:

• Overall Lead: This person takes charge of managing the case as a whole. Ideally a close family member or friend, they should be reliable, committed, and prepared for a potentially long journey. The overall lead will serve as the main point of contact with the State Department, Consular Affairs, and/or the FBI, and will likely be involved in many of the areas listed below.

• Family Communications Lead: This role focuses on keeping the extended family informed and updated. While sometimes the same person as the overall lead, it may be helpful to separate this role, especially in large families, to ease the burden.

• Financial/Debt Management: Ideally, the person appointed to this position has a power of attorney (POA); however, this is rare which makes managing someone else’s finances a lot more complicated. Regardless, whoever takes this position must work to understand and stabilize the captive’s financial situation as best as possible.

• Advocacy Coordinator: Depending on the circumstances of the case, this highly organized individual leads outreach to lawmakers and government officials. They should be comfortable with public speaking and able to travel to Washington, D.C., multiple times a year to advocate for their loved one’s release.

• Media Lead: Even if you’re undecided about engaging with the media, you may wish to designate someone to handle press-related matters. This can include drafting press releases, fielding interview requests, and helping shape your public message.

3. Community and Support Networks

Having a loved one taken captive abroad is not only a terrifying experience, but also one that can be extremely alienating. That’s why it’s especially important to remember that you are not alone. Remember that there is a community of individuals, families, and organizations like Hostage US who share similar experiences and can offer support tailored to your situation. We recommend leaning on the networks you already have and consider reaching out to Hostage US to make more connections for support.

4. Stabilize and Protect your Loved One’s Affairs

Regardless of who takes the lead on financial matters, someone should get to work as soon as possible to understand the captive’s finances. Oftentimes captors will take credit and debit cards and begin liquidating accounts and making fraudulent purchases. At the same time, bills can continue to accrue at home, and if no one is managing them, things can become more challenging to fix down the line.

Listed below are a few ways to address your loved one’s finances during their captivity:

• Power of Attorney / Limited Conservatorship: Often having or obtaining a Power of Attorney is not possible due to the nature of the captivity, in which case, it may be worth attempting to get a temporary conservatorship put in place. Each state has different avenues and processes for setting up conservatorships and although it’s not always required, it is recommended that you use an attorney, or a paralegal, to help. Hostage US can help identify resources to assist with this.
• Credit Report: It is recommended that you pull a credit report on your loved one so that you can see where their debt lies and who to contact to manage the debt during the time of captivity. Working with a Hostage US volunteer, we can help connect you with key people within the creditor’s organizations who may be able to assist with either lowering monthly payments or pausing payments all together. Note that the credit report will only show debt that has been reported to the credit bureaus and account information that is public record. The credit report will not provide information regarding checking accounts, it will however provide information regarding mortgages, auto loans, and credit cards.
• Credit Freeze: It is also recommended that you place a credit freeze, or security freeze, on the detainee’s credit. Although this will not prevent anyone from using any existing credit cards, it will prevent anyone from opening any new accounts in their name.
• Place a Hold on Credit Cards and Checking Accounts: By placing a hold on the credit cards and checking accounts, you are preventing fraudulent activity in those accounts and preventing captors from running up credit card bills and liquidating checking accounts.
• Create a profit and loss sheet: If you have the information, we recommend tracking all of the captive’s income and expenses. This will help you, and those who are helping you, get a clear financial overview.

5. Media Strategy

At some point in the case, the conversation about going public will come up and it will likely come up frequently. This is a critical decision which needs to be thought through, aligned with your overall strategy for release, and agreed upon before anyone speaks to the media. Hostage US has a number of great resources that you may wish to look at before you make a decision or if the case is public. These resources can be found on our website.

While we urge you to look at the resources linked above, a quick summary of what you should think about before diving headfirst is listed below:

• Work together with a Media Strategist and anyone working on the strategy for release, such as crisis responders, US Government, NGO’s, etc., who can help you develop a clear and actionable plan. They will be able to assist with preparations for interviews, connect you with viable media outlets, and even help draft press releases for you to use. Hostage US can make connections to a number of media experts.
• Understand that once information is made public, it cannot be reversed. Therefore, it’s important to have a media strategy in place that will continue to support and improve your efforts to bring your loved one home.
• Be sure to weigh the pros and cons of public versus private approaches, understanding that direct, confidential meetings with key stakeholders may be the better option depending on the circumstances of the case.

6. Building and Managing Your Network

Be sure to keep records of all of your meetings including who was in attendance, what was discussed, and where it took place. These conversations can, and should be, revisited as time goes on as you’ll want to follow up on what people promised or discussed during those meetings.

This does two things:

1. It keeps them accountable, and
2. It keeps you and your family top of mind, reminding them of your ordeal and need for their help.

Below are a few pointers on how to organize your contact list:

• Be sure to record the full name, position, and contact information for everyone offering help. Be sure to make a note of what they have offered.
• Categorize contacts by federal government, state government, non-profit organizations, and other (church, community).
• Know that during the initial stages of the case, you may receive offers of help from a large number of people. Although you may not need their services or assistance at that time, you may at a later date, so be sure to save them.

7. Personal Well-being and Routine

It cannot be overemphasized the need to take care of yourself throughout the ordeal. Remember, you cannot take care of others if you are not well, so be sure to continue living your life as best you can. A few things that you can do are:

• Keep a journal from the very beginning of the journey to track events, thoughts, and progress.
• Maintain as normal a routine as possible. Although you will be tired, stressed and preoccupied, you should push yourself to continue living your life as best you can. Remember that this journey is a marathon, not a sprint, and therefore you should pace yourself and do things that will give you joy or where you will find relaxation.
• Approach overwhelming tasks in small, manageable steps. There will be times that information and tasks are coming at you in a whirlwind, be sure to take a step back, organize your thoughts and calendar, and then tackle what needs to be done.
• Avoid making decisions when you’re stressed, tired or sick!

A Final Note:

No two cases are ever the same, and with that in mind, we want to emphasize that the checklist above is intended as a guideline, not a rigid formula. It offers suggestions that you may, or may not, choose to adapt based on your own unique situation. Regardless, families should always know that the Hostage US Team is always here, ready to help you tackle the challenges that may arise, answer questions, and, perhaps most importantly, be by your side every step of the way.